Then we moved, and right after that, I discovered reading. So this book popped into my head because shit, I had this beautiful edition of a beloved classic and it was just lying around. Issue: you know when you move to a house with less storage room, and in your attic will for a period of 1,5 years be situated, The Box Stash Of Doom? True story. But finally, my parents cleared out the book boxes and Alice in Wonderland appeared out of the rabbit hole.
Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carrol
This edition is beautiful. The pages are gold, the pictures are wonderful, and the cover is just *swoons*. But after my fascinating back story and exaggerating about the extravagant looks of this book, let's talk a little about the interior of the collector's copy.
This is by far the most insane story I ever found myself reading. At 20 pages my brother came over.
Brother: Is it weird yet?
Me: Why would it be?
Brother: Well, I started the movie and I couldn't watch it because it was killing my brain.
Me: Oh. *scared*
Brother: Good luck.
So, 268 extremely distraught pages left, I am 100% positive that yes, Lewis Carrol was an alcoholic. I don't even feel like I can rate this book. It would be like asking me to rate the table manners of my teacher with one arm, and I don't even know what that would feel like in the first place. It feels like I'm rating something that isn't meant to be enjoyed and understood as it is meant to be absorbed.
Yeah, good point Effie, let's get into the fact that this piece of Crack is actually written for children. I do not want this book banned. Still, how do these things not upset kids?
A.) Almost all characters are rude assh0les who have no respect for other people's emotions.
B.) Decapitation is funny.
C.) Nothing makes any f#cking sense whatsoever.
D.) There are some huge technical flaws. I know full well this doesn't usually upset 3- to 10-year-olds, but the matter is that it upset me.
I feel like I should look at this book like I look at modern art.
No shit here, I love the name of that painting. However, our first thought generally is, "I could've done that." I kinda felt like that with Alice in Wonderland. The plot building is all over the place, the characters have the consistency of my internet connection, and the events and the way they're set up give the logical thinking half of my brain migraines similar to earthquakes. Making up a fantasy world with no structure, character development, or any form of orientation is the same thing as painting three stripes on huge canvas: the art is in having the idea, not in the actual execution.
Some fact-based things I can tell you with absolute certainty:
A.) I did not feel any remote connection to Alice.
B.) An 1800s dude without wife or children writing such a messed-up story about a little girl kind of gives me the creeps.
C.) I liked Through the Looking Glass and Alice and Wonderland about the same.
D.) If I ever got the chance to bring any character in ANY book to life, I would pick the Cheshire Cat because he's the most awesome pet ever and I deem no arguing this point.
E.) I will only see any of the movies if they are on TV.
Synopsis:
You can't be serious.
Rating:
Therapy.
This is by far the most insane story I ever found myself reading. At 20 pages my brother came over.
Brother: Is it weird yet?
Me: Why would it be?
Brother: Well, I started the movie and I couldn't watch it because it was killing my brain.
Me: Oh. *scared*
Brother: Good luck.
So, 268 extremely distraught pages left, I am 100% positive that yes, Lewis Carrol was an alcoholic. I don't even feel like I can rate this book. It would be like asking me to rate the table manners of my teacher with one arm, and I don't even know what that would feel like in the first place. It feels like I'm rating something that isn't meant to be enjoyed and understood as it is meant to be absorbed.
Yeah, good point Effie, let's get into the fact that this piece of Crack is actually written for children. I do not want this book banned. Still, how do these things not upset kids?
A.) Almost all characters are rude assh0les who have no respect for other people's emotions.
B.) Decapitation is funny.
C.) Nothing makes any f#cking sense whatsoever.
D.) There are some huge technical flaws. I know full well this doesn't usually upset 3- to 10-year-olds, but the matter is that it upset me.
I feel like I should look at this book like I look at modern art.
 |
| Who's Afraid of Red, Yellow, and Blue? |
No shit here, I love the name of that painting. However, our first thought generally is, "I could've done that." I kinda felt like that with Alice in Wonderland. The plot building is all over the place, the characters have the consistency of my internet connection, and the events and the way they're set up give the logical thinking half of my brain migraines similar to earthquakes. Making up a fantasy world with no structure, character development, or any form of orientation is the same thing as painting three stripes on huge canvas: the art is in having the idea, not in the actual execution.
Some fact-based things I can tell you with absolute certainty:
A.) I did not feel any remote connection to Alice.
B.) An 1800s dude without wife or children writing such a messed-up story about a little girl kind of gives me the creeps.
C.) I liked Through the Looking Glass and Alice and Wonderland about the same.
D.) If I ever got the chance to bring any character in ANY book to life, I would pick the Cheshire Cat because he's the most awesome pet ever and I deem no arguing this point.
E.) I will only see any of the movies if they are on TV.
Synopsis:
You can't be serious.
Rating:
Therapy.
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